Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
