I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize