I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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