She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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