Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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