You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
