i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize