she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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