Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
