Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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