is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
