if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
