do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
