You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
