Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
