saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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