i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
