There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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