We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Small penises have feelings too.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
