I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
