susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Randomize
