I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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