Can Purell be used as lube?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
