i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
