Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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