I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
