i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
