New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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