feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
