does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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