You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
