I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
