weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
