I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize