We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize