you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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