careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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