If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just high enough for therapy.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
