hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
