We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
