my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize