Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
