At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
