a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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