I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize