And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
