No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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