everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
