There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
