At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize