Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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