just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
