I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
