If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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