Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
