Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
