We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I skipped work to stalk him.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
