I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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