I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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